- Always express and demonstrate unconditional love, respect and acceptance.
- Find and orchestrate opportunities for them to feel good about themselves. Happiness is about feeling validated.
- Establish reasonable expectations for their religious and overall behavior and express these clearly to them. Take care not to exert much pressure and minimize criticism.
- Nurture a home environment full of peace, joy, love, respect, and kindness. Make conscious efforts to foster excitement about the privilege of studying Torah, observing Mitzvos, and having a positive relationship with Hashem.
- Realize that every child is unique. Respect that individuality and help him or her find the unique potential inside them.
- Choose the right school for each individual child and work together with the principals, Rebbeim, and teachers to maximize your child’s Yeshiva experience. Whenever appropriate, encourage them through incentives and opportunities to succeed, rather than pressure.
- Learn to communicate with your children and remember that the main ingredient in communication is empathetic listening.
- Be alert to problems early on and deal with them appropriately, and when necessary, professionally. Do not deny their existence.
- Recognize that oftentimes, especially with troubled teenagers, the parents’ influence is very limited and the need for an outside mentor can be critical. This is normal and does not constitute a rejection of the parents by the child.
- Maintain a home environment where children feel free to ask any questions. Make sure that they understand the purpose of life, the truth of Torah, and the benefits of Mitzvos.